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The current period signifies a full decade since the word “vanishing” entered the mainstream. Initially, the concept that someone could suddenly stop communication with a lover without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. How naive we were. In the decade since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by online jargon.

Zoomers, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their millennial elders could ever imagine. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed guide to the words this generation is using to navigate love, sex and the search of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This refers to going for someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people bond while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes partners who forgo having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of being guarded: practicing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Danger signals – Personal habits signaling a prospective partner is not right. Examples include calling their exes unstable, subpar tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions confirm your decision to date a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A band many young men likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful act.

J

Careers – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {